As far as I can find it, this is what Dan Cathy said in an interview with The Baptist Press: Some have opposed the company’s support of the traditional family. “Well, guilty as charged,” said Cathy when asked about the company’s position. “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit… We are very much committed to that,” Cathy emphasized. “We intend to stay the course,” he said. “We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”
Later, on the Ken Coleman Show (a televangelist), Mr. Cathy said, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.’ I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think we can try to define what marriage is all about.”
Because of these comments, which I would like to add were no surprise coming from a conservative Christian man answering questions from two very conservative Christian media outlets, and perhaps even more so because it was released that some of Chick-Fil-A’s profits go to support organizations such Exodus International, Focus on the Family, and the Family Research Council, many within the GLBT community called for a boycott of Chick-Fil-A. While I certainly wouldn't align myself with any of those organizations, I don't think I would consider them hate groups as some do. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean that everything they say is a hate crime. If you listened closely at that moment you could hear the bugles begin to blare. Let the latest battle in the culture war begin! As a response to all of this, former Arkansas governor, unsuccessful Republican presidential candidate, and Fox News personality Mike Huckabee organized, via Facebook, the August 1 “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day,” which prompted the organization of a “Same Sex Kiss Day” at Chick-Fil-A locations around the country.
This past Saturday, as we drove from Portage, Indiana south toward Indianapolis on our way home, Danielle filled me in a little bit on what she was reading on her phone about the Chick-Fil-A hoopla. A lot of it seemed really silly to me, and when the time came to find a place for lunch we were still willing to drive six miles out of our way to go to a Chick-Fil-A restaurant. Why would we throw ourselves into this culture war arena? The answer is quite simple: we were hungry. Granted, we could have eaten elsewhere, but our kids, who will take a couple nibbles from a Chicken McNugget will inhale a four piece nugget box at CFA and eat the waffle fries and fruit cup to boot. Also, they have a play place, which is getting harder and harder to find. Our kids are not good travelers and they needed a break to stretch their legs. Plus, I will admit that I really like Chick-Fil-A because they provide quick, courteous, and consistent service. I like that their restaurants are clean and often have a fresh flower on each table. They even have clean bathrooms, which is a really big deal when you have to take a 2.5 year old girl into the men’s restroom. I also like that they are closed on Sundays so that their employees do not have to choose between work and worship, and I like that they sponsor leadership events such as the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast which I attended at a simulcast site in Fairborn just a few months ago. I will also admit, that while I might not care for every organization or media outlet that CFA supports, I like that they stand up for what they believe, some of which I agree with. Ultimately though, I have liked Chick-Fil-A because since I was a little kid getting a treat at the little counter at the mall food court, I’ve loved their chicken sandwiches and waffle fries, and more recently the fact that they carry Coke Zero which I like the taste of better than regular Coke.
So while we were stuck at that CFA in Indianapolis because of a storm that rolled in right before we were about to leave, I had the college kids in the table next to us take a picture of our family, which I then posted on Facebook with the caption, “Sometimes it’s just about tasty chicken and waffle fries.” For some odd reason I felt the need to post something in the midst of all the pro and anti CFA or same sex marriage posts that were flowing through the newsfeed on my Facebook page. It was a little act of defiance by Danielle and me to say that just because you eat at Chick-Fil-A doesn’t make you a fundamentalist bigot, but also, and just as importantly, the fact that we were eating at Chick-Fil-A, not on a special appreciation day, but when it made sense for us to eat there, showed that we thought the appreciation day was kind of goofy too. Did I do this to show my allegiance to the “traditional marriage” camp? No, although it might have been interpreted that way by the few gay or lesbian Facebook friends that I have. Although my hankering for chicken had nothing to do with it, while I am a pretty open guy, I do support the definition of marriage as presented in both the Book of Confessions and Book of Order of the Presbyterian Church (USA), which does mean that I, in a peaceful way I hope, do oppose the redefinition of marriage by our church which failed to pass last month at General Assembly. If the photo I posted hurt any of these friends, all of whom are ordained clergy in the UCC, PC(USA), or Metropolitan Community Church, I’m sorry about that. Ironically, our statement was that we weren’t trying to make a statement at all. It just made sense, like it has since we figured out how much our kids like CFA, to eat there on our way home. That Chick-Fil-A was packed, not with protesters from either side, but with families, single people, college students and high school kids. There weren’t any signs about “God Made Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve” and there weren’t any same-sex kisses. It was just folks eating chicken because chicken tastes good.
In my opinion, nothing is really accomplished by all this Chick-Fil-A goofiness, my little part included. Maybe I should have stayed out of it completely, but both ends of the spectrum seem to think that public displays of support for or reaction against Chick-Fil-A is actually going to change anything. All that is really going to happen is that both sides are going to see themselves increasingly as righteous crusaders for their cause. What will be lost is the chance to build relationships with one another. We’ve come to the point where we have started to feel that we can only have relationships with people who agree with us on everything. I hear rumors that there was a time in history when Democrats and Republicans used to get along in Washington, working together even though they didn’t agree on everything. Acording to a book I read recently, Eastern Orthodox Christians have often existed as good neighbors to Muslims for many centuries. I wish that both extremes of the same sex marriage debate would realize that we need to build bridges toward one another that do not require us to change our core beliefs. Can I be friends with a same sex married couple even if I believe marriage is between a man and a woman? Would they want to be friends with me? I don’t know and I would understand if they didn’t, but I think we’d all miss out on the fellowship we could have together. That’s tough stuff, but that’s the kind of tension we’re going to have to live with in the 21st Century in America if we are not going to implode.
Also, while I tend to be more traditional in my beliefs than a lot of folks, I want to plead with my fellow Christians to listen (without prejudice) to those in the GLBT community and those who love and support the folks in that community who have life stories you need to hear and to listen to their point-of-view without immediately responding, “The Bible says…” This issue is simply not as simple as some people make it out to be, even biblically. By New Testament times, acceptable marriage was most definitely between one man and one woman and this is reflected when Jesus quotes from Genesis in Mark 10:7 and when Paul does the same in Ephesians 5:31. But how “Biblical” do we want to be in our marriage? The domination of husband over wife? Jesus’ statement that the only reason for divorce is the infidelity of the woman? When we say “Biblical” marriage we need to know what we’re referring to. Also, it should be noted that while Jesus did, in a sense, bless marriage by showing up at the wedding in Cana and turning the water into wine and his quote from Genesis 2, he did not, himself, participate in marriage and even made statements about marriage being of less importance than discipleship. Whether Paul was widowed, divorced, or single we don’t know, but by the time he was writing his letters while he does offer some guidance for married couples, he says that it would be better to stay unmarried for the purposes of being able to devote yourself totally to evangelism. In addition, the argument that we are commanded to “be fruitful and multiply” precludes same sex marriage because it cannot produce children, should make us question what that says to those heterosexual couples who cannot father or mother a child. Is their marriage any less because it cannot produce children? Is it unbiblical? Most importantly, we should be guided by love, genuine love, for God and for people and not love for victory or love of being right or love of being able to put others “in their place.” We make ourselves sound like one of my daughter’s broken toys that keeps repeating the same thing over and over again when we simply say, “The Bible says…” because (1) the Bible says a lot of stuff, (2) you probably don’t know the Bible as well as you think you do, and (3) that phrase is often accompanied by a smug expression that says “Check Mate!” without allowing for the conversation to go deeper. Who knows, if we actually open our ears and be open to letting our conversations transition into genuine relationship someday we might, at some point, share a meal together of lasagna or quinoa or even a chicken sandwich and waffle fries, maybe even bread and wine.
I missed you all last week and I can't wait to see you this Sunday! May the love of God the Father, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit rest upon us each and every one this week.
Pastor Everett
To be able to participate better in this conversation please check out these VERY varied opinions:
1. My Quick Thought on Chick-Fil-A by Andrew Marin
2. The Prideful Arrogant President of Chick-Fil-A from Slate Magazine
3. Focus on the Family
4. What is Marriage in the Bible Infographic from Think Progressive
5. Some Words for Christians on Both Sides of the Chick-Fil-A War by Rachel Held Evans
