Mourn With Those Who Mourn

I led a funeral on Tuesday for an 85-year-old gentleman named Joe Hidy, who was a retired farmer from the Greenfield area. His relatives are the Hidy folks who originally settled over at Jeffersonville. I believe there is a road and a cemetery that bears their names. I never met Joe and had never even heard his name before Roger Kirkpatrick tracked me down in my yard this past Saturday morning. Joe and his wife Martha (Denney) Hidy, were actually married at our church back in 1951 with Rev. Braden officiating. At that time they were members of McNair Presbyterian Church, which was without a pastor. I had the opportunity to meet Joe’s family. They are good folks, who were understandably upset to lose Joe, but understanding that he had been sick in different ways for a long time. They were not worried about where Joe is today. About twenty folks, mostly family, came to the funeral and, I believe, many more had come the night before to visit with the family at the funeral home. The service ended at the cemetery with my concluding words and military honors. So it ended up that Larry Bishop, John Mason, and I were all involved in the funeral.

I have done one other funeral since I have been here and one memorial service. The funeral was for Elizabeth “Bib” Hyer, who was in her 90’s. It was a very small service at the mausoleum at Washington Cemetery. It sounds like she had a great sense of humor and a real sense of style and elegance. I never had the opportunity to meet Mrs. Hyer either. The memorial service was for Debbie Crooks, the sister of Susan Waddle. Debbie was only about 60-years-old or so and had lost a long, hard battle with cancer. According to Susan, her sister loved to laugh and host parties. Debbie has some of the best looking kids and grandkids I've ever seen. Again, I never got the chance to meet Debbie. I wish I had.

When I was in Norman I was the Associate Pastor for Youth Ministries. I thank God all the time that I did not have to do any funerals for any youth. We were blessed during my three-and-a-half years there that nothing serious happened to any of our kids. I did, however, do two funerals and a memorial service while I was there. What’s the difference between a funeral and a memorial service? A funeral happens within a few days of the death and generally involves burial either of a casket or an urn. A memorial service usually takes place weeks or even a month or more later and does not involve burial. The two funerals I did in Norman were for two elderly folks whom I had never met. The memorial service was for a great guy named Jerry Benson, who died tragically of a heart attack pretty much right after he retired. Terribly sad situation. He was a big supporter of mine and so was his wife Jonina, who is an absolutely amazing person.

When I was in Newkirk I led probably four or five funerals, and I had never met any but one of them. The deceased were friends or relatives of church members. The funeral I did for the person I knew was very difficult for me. Her name was Darla Smith. She was 72-years-old, our clerk of session, made the best banana bread I’ve ever tasted, and she had become one of my best friends. She was a widow who lived out in the country and had pet longhorn cattle who she fed treats to every night. Every Easter morning we’d have our sunrise service out at her place overlooking a beautiful pond. She used to take the scraps home from every church dinner to feed to the friendly possums that liked to hang out on her porch. She was as country as country can get, had to have her language reigned in once or twice in session meetings, and smoked like a chimney. It was pancreatic cancer that took her. She found out she had it and was dead within weeks. I loved her very much and think about her nearly every day. Looking back on it I think losing Darla had something to do with my leaving the church in Newkirk. I was brand new to ministry and it hurt so bad to lose someone I loved. Also, while I was in Newkirk, I turned down the only funeral that I have ever turned down. I had only been out of seminary for a couple of months and I received a phone call from the local funeral home. An infant had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The little baby was the same age as Wyatt. Only having about eight weeks of ministry under my belt I just could not do it. Had the family been members of my congregation I would have just had to suck it up and do it, but since they were not affiliated with any congregation I knew that one of the much more experienced pastors in town could handle the situation better than I could. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to hold it together for the family.

As I have mentioned, most of the funerals I have done have been for people I never met. That’s always kind of strange. I find it kind of awkward for me, someone who didn’t know their loved one, to lead a group of people in honoring and commending to God a person that they knew very well. I feel like a moirologist, the word for a professional mourner. These folks were employed in many Middle Eastern cultures, including biblical Israel, to come to a funeral and mourn for someone they’d never met. They might say some words about the person, lead some prayers, and lead some songs for the deceased’s family and friends. Hmmm… Sounds kind of like what I do. I never really thought about it that way.

I do my best to glean information about the deceased from my brief discussions with the family. A lot of times I don’t even know the family. I always feel like a kind of service provider more than a pastor in those situations. But, except in the one case of that infant, I don’t turn down funerals, even if I don’t know anyone involved. The reason for that is not money—generally the funeral home charges the family a $100 pastor’s payment to compensate the pastor for meeting with the family and leading the service—but because I know that, for better or for worse, in my position I represent God and the church. Although I will be honest that I take the check when the funeral director gives it to me, I never ask for money, nor would I not do the funeral if I didn’t get paid. One time, when it wasn't done through a funeral home, I asked the family to make a donation instead to the Fayette County Food Pantry. So I repeat: it is not about the money. If I’m unwilling to be there for them in their time of need then they definitely feel that the church doesn’t care about them and might even, incorrectly, come to the conclusion that God doesn’t care. Also, I never do it because it might bring in new members to our church. You’re church is pretty desperate if that’s your evangelism strategy—have the pastor do funerals for people not involved in a church family to bring in new recruits. It might have that effect but that’s not why I do it. I do those funerals for people I don’t know and who aren’t affiliated with the congregation I serve because, ultimately, I have been called and equipped to help folks through that time. If my leading some prayers and saying a few words will help them honor their family member or friend then that’s kingdom work that’s right in my “wheelhouse.” I, and any pastor worth a darn, do it if at all possible because people need a reminder during that time that God in Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit is with them to comfort them as they mourn.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Ultimately it is God who can comfort them, but I (along with other Christians) are quite often one of the ways that God comforts those who are grieving.

In Romans 12:15, Paul writes, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” That’s what we do for each other. When somebody has a baby or graduates from college, we celebrate with them. That’s the only appropriate response. We don’t say, “Too bad you didn’t have a girl,” or “Anybody can graduate from that college.” Actually some people may say that but those people are jerks and not living their lives as a conduit for the Holy Spirit. When someone loses their foot to diabetes or loses their husband to cancer, we mourn with them. That’s the only appropriate response. We don’t say, “Who needs two feet anyway? God gave you two so you’d have an extra,” or “I never really liked your husband anyway.” If we are living as those clothed with Christ, we rejoice with those who rejoice and we mourn with those who mourn.

The Apostle Paul also writes in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” If I had not received comfort from God myself, and if I had not seen countless others receive comfort from God then I would be a quack when it came to leading funerals, especially for people I didn’t know. Although I still feel a little awkward leading others in honoring their loved one when I never met her or him, I do it because they need to know that God is with them and if I’m the one that needs to help them realize that then I’m in. I hope you are too.

By the way, one last thing: I am a little over halfway through reading That’s Why I’m Here: The Chris and Stephanie Spielman Story. What an amazing story of struggle, faith, love, loyalty, and hope. I know that the “Young and the Rest of Us” Sunday School class is considering reading and discussing it as a class. I would certainly be in favor of that, but I would like for everyone who is reading this blog post and everyone in our congregation to consider reading that book. Reading of Stephanie’s twelve year battle with cancer, which eventually took her life, may build up your own faith and hope as you see how the Spielman family came to experience “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, [that] guard[s] your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Don't bother trying to get it at the library. The list is a mile long. What a great book.

If you are in the midst of trial, may you be comforted by our loving God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Next week's blog post will be called "There is no real OSU. There's My OSU and Your OSU."

Go Bucks! and
Go Pokes! (a Cowpoke is another name for a cowboy, the mascot of my alma mater Oklahoma State),

Everett

Sticks and Stones

I have been thinking a lot this week about the power of words, their power for good and their power for evil. This past Saturday I had the opportunity of helping a young couple to, through the use of their words, bind themselves to one another in the presence of God and others. With their words they promised to be loving and faithful to one another in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live. That’s the power of words for good. The power of words for evil has also been on display this week through the comments of the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, Todd Akin, and his reference to “legitimate rape,” of which there is no such thing and the positioning of those two words together can never, ever, be okay. His words have enraged not only his opponent, but his own party, the entire female gender, and all the rest of us. Wasn't it Democrat Harry Reid who said back in 2010 for talking about how President Obama was electable because he was light skinned and used "no negro dialect." Mr. Reid and now Mr. Akin should have read Proverbs 21:23 before they spoke. That verse says, “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” This week Mr. Akin has found that words have power. Just two words may end your career.

You would think that as a pastor I would realize the power of words. I mean, I specialize in words, right? I write sermons and blog posts about the God who spoke the universe into existence with His words, about our Lord who John calls “the Word made flesh.” I am often called to speak words of comfort to those who are grieving and words of encouragement to the discouraged. With degrees in creative writing and religion, you’d think it would sink in by now that words do have great power—for good and for evil. Yet my mouth still gets me in trouble sometimes. This is nothing new. I spent a lot of time in detention as a kid because of my mouth and a lot of time grounded at home for the same reason. When I was twenty-two and working for Enterprise Rent-A-Car I was speaking to a potential customer on the phone. She continued to ask question after question and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. It was a Saturday morning so I was working the little office in Stillwater, Oklahoma by myself. A customer who had a reservation came in and sat down in the chair in front of me. I tried and tried to finish the phone conversation. Finally I was able to butt in enough to ask the woman on the phone, “Can I get a number where I can call you back or do you mind holding?” Of course she said she’d prefer to hold. So I pressed the hold button on the phone, hung it up, and began talking to the customer in front of me about how sorry I was that the lady on the phone wouldn’t shut up and how I’d been trying to get rid of her for about twenty minutes. Then I heard the woman’s voice who was on hold on the phone. “I can’t believe you just said that about me,” she said. My stomach shot up into my throat when it dawned on me that by accident I had put her on speaker phone, not on hold. Open mouth, insert foot.

How awful, not just that I’d been caught but that I said those things in the first place. If what Jesus said in Matthew 15:18 is true (and I most certainly believe it is), that “the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them,” then my heart showed itself not only to the customer on the phone but to the customer sitting in front of me. My words defiled me.

I learned a very important lesson on that day twelve years ago, a lesson that I obviously still remember. But, it was not a definitive lesson because I continually sin in this arena. My biggest problem now is not that I say things that are intentionally rude or hurtful or to bring others down (which I still find myself doing sometimes). My biggest problem is that very often when I am about to open my mouth I have to make a choice as to whether or not I’m going to say something appropriate, something funny, or nothing at all. Quite often I choose to say something funny, which is not always appropriate and it would have been better had I not said anything. For instance, the other day I was talking to some parents and a Sunday school teacher about how large and I believe I used the word “crazy” the Kindergarten through second grade Sunday school class is going to be this fall. “We’re going to need more adults in there” someone said. Then came the moment when I had the choice: nothing, appropriate, or funny. You know the choice I made. I said, “Adults? We’re going to need tasers!” Ha, ha, ha.

People laughed. I’d used that joke before ever since I’d gotten it from a military policeman who used to help with the middle school youth group in Norman when he wasn’t in Afghanistan or Iraq. When he saw how wild the middle school boys were he said, “I should have brought my taser.” Ha, ha, ha. We all laughed. But after I said it this last time about a bunch of 5-8 year olds, which includes my own son, I started to wish later that I had not said it. The few people who heard it know me well and know that I love kids and would do anything to bring kids closer to Jesus and that I would never hurt them. But what if somebody who didn’t know me that well heard me? Even worse, what if one of the little kids had heard me? “Mommy, Pastor Everett says he’s going to use a taser on my Sunday school class. What’s a taser?” That’s not a conversation I want to have with a parent. As a pastor I should know the truth of what James writes in 1:26, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” With my unwise words I proved in that moment that my religion was worthless.

Perhaps the greatest guidance in regard to how we should speak as Christians comes from the pen of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:29. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” If words are not helpful and beneficial to others, then we should not speak them aloud. That doesn’t mean that we never offer constructive feedback or that we never speak hard truths when it must be done. It just means that we have to recognize the power in our words. I’ve read recently that a supervisor or parent should speak five affirmations for every one criticism. We are to build up, not tear down. And, as I read recently in the book Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World by Craig Groeschel, we also have to remember that when something positive about someone comes to mind that we should give those words life as well. “You are so faithful to this church… You have been a blessing to me and my family… I can see joy radiating through you… Thank you for taking such good care of me… You are so thoughtful…” These words bring life. Proverbs 16:24 tells us, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” How true, how true.

Everything I say has the potential to cause reactions like, “Christians are such hypocrites… If all Presbyterians are like that I don’t want anything to do with that church… That new Miller family is so rude… People from Oklahoma must be idiots…” I represent so many people, not to mention my God, in every interaction I have. And whether or not you realize it, so do you. So I’m asking God to help me use my words to build up instead of to tear down and for the Holy Spirit to push me toward appropriate or nothing more often than funny. I’m also going to be guided by the anagram T.H.I.N.K. that you see in this graphic.

It seems like both good and Godly advice. So let’s stop for a moment this week before we say something and pray from Psalm 19:14, “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

Have a great first week of school everybody!

Everett

I Hear the Cello With My Soul

O sing unto the LORD a new song;
for he hath done marvelous things.
Psalm 98:1 (King James Version)

I am sitting here watching the closing ceremonies of the 2012 Olympics. What an awesome spectacle filled with the music of the United Kingdom. If you watched it for yourself it was a great reminder of the power of music to unite people and to move the deepest reaches of our souls. Our congregation, perhaps more than most, knows as well the great truth that music does not merely bring us together or move our souls, but also can bring us together with God in praise and thanksgiving and move our souls into the loving embrace of our Creator.

This past Thursday and Friday I attended the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit at the simulcast site at Grove City Church of the Nazarene. During the two days a couple hundred pastors and other church leaders as well as Christian business people watched as via satellite from Chicago amazing leaders spoke about different elements of Christian leadership. This was my second year to attend, as last year I attended at a simulcast site in Oklahoma City. During certain breaks between speakers music was provided, again via satellite from Chicago, by a band called Gungor, which is named for the married couple that makes up the core of the band. When I heard them play it was one of those moments when you are just blown away by a new sound. Someday I will remember the first time I heard and saw Gungor. Their music moved me toward God in a way that not a whole lot of music can. I want you to watch this video of them performing the song that moves me the most.

Gungor: "You Make Beautiful Things"



One of the reasons that song moves me so much, besides those amazing words of assurance, "You make beautiful things, beautiful things, out of dust. You make beautiful things out of us," is the fact that I love the cello. To me, a well played cello is like an angel playing into my heart. I have absolutely no musical talent or knowledge, but I hear the cello with my soul, not with my ears. That's why the next musician that I was introduced to by the Global Leadership Summit blew me away too. He is a young man named Kevin Olusola. He is absolutely amazing and I promise you that you have never heard anything like it. He plays the Cello and beatboxes at the same time. You have to watch this video in its entirety. It is ridiculously awesome and I could even hear his beatboxing in my soul as the cello carried it in.

Kevin Olusola: "Julie-O"



Finally, my ears and soul almost exploded when Gungor and Kevin Olusola collaborated on a song that alludes to the vision of the valley of dry bones by the prophet Ezekiel. It is a crying out to Jesus to give these dry bones life. It is breathtaking. Watch and listen to the whole thing. You will be blessed.

Gungor with Kevin Olusola: "Dry Bones"



First Presbyterian Church of Austin, Texas used to have a musical ensemble that lead the music at their early morning worship service that included a cello. I always woke up early for that.

I hope that this post was a blessing to you, that through hearing others sing unto the Lord a new song that you were reminded that God hath done marvelous things. Sing a song of praise to God with your life this week. If you ask, He'll give you the tune. I hope mine sounds like a cello.

Love to you all in Christ's name,
Everett

Eating Chicken Because Chicken Tastes Good

My family and I returned Sunday afternoon from a weeklong vacation that I have dubbed “The Miller Family’s Upper Midwest Economic Stimulus Package.” We’ve done our part. You’re welcome America! During our vacation, we visited the Indianapolis Children’s Museum, Indiana Dunes State Park, and explored the city of Chicago. In Chicago we visited the Lincoln Park Zoo, Rainforest Café, Navy Pier, and Wyatt and I went to the Cubs-Pirates game at Wrigley Field. With all the fun we were having and the fact that pretty much the only television we watched was the Olympics and we weren’t too interested in the Internet except to help us find our way around, we were, for the most part, oblivious to the whole Chick-Fil-A bonanza that was going on. We knew that some in the GLBT community and their friends and supporters were upset by some comments by Chick-Fil-A’s Chief Operating Officer Dan Cathy, but that's about it for most of the week.

As far as I can find it, this is what Dan Cathy said in an interview with The Baptist Press: Some have opposed the company’s support of the traditional family. “Well, guilty as charged,” said Cathy when asked about the company’s position. “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit… We are very much committed to that,” Cathy emphasized. “We intend to stay the course,” he said. “We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

Later, on the Ken Coleman Show (a televangelist), Mr. Cathy said, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.’ I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think we can try to define what marriage is all about.”

Because of these comments, which I would like to add were no surprise coming from a conservative Christian man answering questions from two very conservative Christian media outlets, and perhaps even more so because it was released that some of Chick-Fil-A’s profits go to support organizations such Exodus International, Focus on the Family, and the Family Research Council, many within the GLBT community called for a boycott of Chick-Fil-A. While I certainly wouldn't align myself with any of those organizations, I don't think I would consider them hate groups as some do. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean that everything they say is a hate crime. If you listened closely at that moment you could hear the bugles begin to blare. Let the latest battle in the culture war begin! As a response to all of this, former Arkansas governor, unsuccessful Republican presidential candidate, and Fox News personality Mike Huckabee organized, via Facebook, the August 1 “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day,” which prompted the organization of a “Same Sex Kiss Day” at Chick-Fil-A locations around the country.

This past Saturday, as we drove from Portage, Indiana south toward Indianapolis on our way home, Danielle filled me in a little bit on what she was reading on her phone about the Chick-Fil-A hoopla. A lot of it seemed really silly to me, and when the time came to find a place for lunch we were still willing to drive six miles out of our way to go to a Chick-Fil-A restaurant. Why would we throw ourselves into this culture war arena? The answer is quite simple: we were hungry. Granted, we could have eaten elsewhere, but our kids, who will take a couple nibbles from a Chicken McNugget will inhale a four piece nugget box at CFA and eat the waffle fries and fruit cup to boot. Also, they have a play place, which is getting harder and harder to find. Our kids are not good travelers and they needed a break to stretch their legs. Plus, I will admit that I really like Chick-Fil-A because they provide quick, courteous, and consistent service. I like that their restaurants are clean and often have a fresh flower on each table. They even have clean bathrooms, which is a really big deal when you have to take a 2.5 year old girl into the men’s restroom. I also like that they are closed on Sundays so that their employees do not have to choose between work and worship, and I like that they sponsor leadership events such as the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast which I attended at a simulcast site in Fairborn just a few months ago. I will also admit, that while I might not care for every organization or media outlet that CFA supports, I like that they stand up for what they believe, some of which I agree with. Ultimately though, I have liked Chick-Fil-A because since I was a little kid getting a treat at the little counter at the mall food court, I’ve loved their chicken sandwiches and waffle fries, and more recently the fact that they carry Coke Zero which I like the taste of better than regular Coke.

So while we were stuck at that CFA in Indianapolis because of a storm that rolled in right before we were about to leave, I had the college kids in the table next to us take a picture of our family, which I then posted on Facebook with the caption, “Sometimes it’s just about tasty chicken and waffle fries.” For some odd reason I felt the need to post something in the midst of all the pro and anti CFA or same sex marriage posts that were flowing through the newsfeed on my Facebook page. It was a little act of defiance by Danielle and me to say that just because you eat at Chick-Fil-A doesn’t make you a fundamentalist bigot, but also, and just as importantly, the fact that we were eating at Chick-Fil-A, not on a special appreciation day, but when it made sense for us to eat there, showed that we thought the appreciation day was kind of goofy too. Did I do this to show my allegiance to the “traditional marriage” camp? No, although it might have been interpreted that way by the few gay or lesbian Facebook friends that I have. Although my hankering for chicken had nothing to do with it, while I am a pretty open guy, I do support the definition of marriage as presented in both the Book of Confessions and Book of Order of the Presbyterian Church (USA), which does mean that I, in a peaceful way I hope, do oppose the redefinition of marriage by our church which failed to pass last month at General Assembly. If the photo I posted hurt any of these friends, all of whom are ordained clergy in the UCC, PC(USA), or Metropolitan Community Church, I’m sorry about that. Ironically, our statement was that we weren’t trying to make a statement at all. It just made sense, like it has since we figured out how much our kids like CFA, to eat there on our way home. That Chick-Fil-A was packed, not with protesters from either side, but with families, single people, college students and high school kids. There weren’t any signs about “God Made Adam and Eve Not Adam and Steve” and there weren’t any same-sex kisses. It was just folks eating chicken because chicken tastes good.

In my opinion, nothing is really accomplished by all this Chick-Fil-A goofiness, my little part included. Maybe I should have stayed out of it completely, but both ends of the spectrum seem to think that public displays of support for or reaction against Chick-Fil-A is actually going to change anything. All that is really going to happen is that both sides are going to see themselves increasingly as righteous crusaders for their cause. What will be lost is the chance to build relationships with one another. We’ve come to the point where we have started to feel that we can only have relationships with people who agree with us on everything. I hear rumors that there was a time in history when Democrats and Republicans used to get along in Washington, working together even though they didn’t agree on everything. Acording to a book I read recently, Eastern Orthodox Christians have often existed as good neighbors to Muslims for many centuries. I wish that both extremes of the same sex marriage debate would realize that we need to build bridges toward one another that do not require us to change our core beliefs. Can I be friends with a same sex married couple even if I believe marriage is between a man and a woman? Would they want to be friends with me? I don’t know and I would understand if they didn’t, but I think we’d all miss out on the fellowship we could have together. That’s tough stuff, but that’s the kind of tension we’re going to have to live with in the 21st Century in America if we are not going to implode.

Also, while I tend to be more traditional in my beliefs than a lot of folks, I want to plead with my fellow Christians to listen (without prejudice) to those in the GLBT community and those who love and support the folks in that community who have life stories you need to hear and to listen to their point-of-view without immediately responding, “The Bible says…” This issue is simply not as simple as some people make it out to be, even biblically. By New Testament times, acceptable marriage was most definitely between one man and one woman and this is reflected when Jesus quotes from Genesis in Mark 10:7 and when Paul does the same in Ephesians 5:31. But how “Biblical” do we want to be in our marriage? The domination of husband over wife? Jesus’ statement that the only reason for divorce is the infidelity of the woman? When we say “Biblical” marriage we need to know what we’re referring to. Also, it should be noted that while Jesus did, in a sense, bless marriage by showing up at the wedding in Cana and turning the water into wine and his quote from Genesis 2, he did not, himself, participate in marriage and even made statements about marriage being of less importance than discipleship. Whether Paul was widowed, divorced, or single we don’t know, but by the time he was writing his letters while he does offer some guidance for married couples, he says that it would be better to stay unmarried for the purposes of being able to devote yourself totally to evangelism. In addition, the argument that we are commanded to “be fruitful and multiply” precludes same sex marriage because it cannot produce children, should make us question what that says to those heterosexual couples who cannot father or mother a child. Is their marriage any less because it cannot produce children? Is it unbiblical? Most importantly, we should be guided by love, genuine love, for God and for people and not love for victory or love of being right or love of being able to put others “in their place.” We make ourselves sound like one of my daughter’s broken toys that keeps repeating the same thing over and over again when we simply say, “The Bible says…” because (1) the Bible says a lot of stuff, (2) you probably don’t know the Bible as well as you think you do, and (3) that phrase is often accompanied by a smug expression that says “Check Mate!” without allowing for the conversation to go deeper. Who knows, if we actually open our ears and be open to letting our conversations transition into genuine relationship someday we might, at some point, share a meal together of lasagna or quinoa or even a chicken sandwich and waffle fries, maybe even bread and wine.

I missed you all last week and I can't wait to see you this Sunday! May the love of God the Father, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit rest upon us each and every one this week.

Pastor Everett

To be able to participate better in this conversation please check out these VERY varied opinions:
1. My Quick Thought on Chick-Fil-A by Andrew Marin

2. The Prideful Arrogant President of Chick-Fil-A from Slate Magazine

3. Focus on the Family

4. What is Marriage in the Bible Infographic from Think Progressive


5. Some Words for Christians on Both Sides of the Chick-Fil-A War by Rachel Held Evans