I shaved my beard off this morning for only the second time in the last six years. The last time I shaved it off, about three years ago, my high school youth group exerted their greatest power—peer pressure—on me and I began growing it back that very day. So today, my chin is feeling the fresh air for just the second day in the past 2,190 days or so. Wyatt was the first to come down the stairs and he didn’t even notice. He was more concerned about getting SportsCenter on the TV. Josselyn woke up next and she saw me from way up stairs and noticed immediately. Danielle always kind of liked the beard except when I let it get kind of long and I’d start talking about Duck Dynasty a lot or when I’d say things like, “I’m thinking about growing a handlebar mustache or maybe a pointed beard.” Josselyn was really concerned with why I shaved it. She wanted answers!
So why do I shave it off? Was it because it was too hot? Yesterday was a pretty hot and muggy day but there have been hotter days, so that’s not the reason. Was it because it was too itchy? Well, it had been kind of itchy for some reason but I don’t think that’s it either. As I was doing it I don’t think I really knew why I was changing my appearance after six years. Then after I was finished shaving and slapped on some aftershave lotion for the first time in years (it’s still burning three hours later) I realized what probably happened that made me shave the beard.
In September we are going to have a garage sale. In preparation for this we’ve been searching the house for anything we don’t use anymore (or never did). Yesterday I opened up a cabinet door in the living room to see if there was anything in there; I was confronted by a stack of photos that we’ve never organized. I sat down to flip through them. I looked at photos of the kids when they were babies, of Danielle when she was pregnant, of Danielle and me in Charleston, South Carolina on vacation (before the kids). It took me down memory lane. Then I came to a couple of photos from way back in February, 2000. Danielle and I were dating at the time and we were at party that was thrown by her sorority. The party was way out in the country outside Stillwater, Oklahoma (home of Oklahoma State University) in a barn that had been converted into a party hall. These particular pictures of me involve western wear and a mechanical bull. There is one photo of me mounted on the bull before the lever has been pulled. Full of youthful vigor (and some liquid courage) I was sure that John Travolta in Urban Cowboy had nothing on me. The next photo, which was probably taken about three seconds later, is of me getting up off the mat. I’m smiling and I’m holding a cowboy hat. I’m so young and unencumbered by the cares of the world. I look good, the best I've ever looked. I felt like a cowboy in that moment, with my little cowgirl there snapping a picture of me. As I was looking at the photo, lost in the memory, the kids started yelling at each other and Danielle asked me if I’d ever gotten around to cleaning out the cat’s litter box. I glanced back at that photo before I put it back in the cabinet and didn’t think about it again. Coincidentally enough, the next morning I’m shaving off my beard.
Two weeks from today I turn 35-years-old. I’m not that 21-year-old wannabe cowboy anymore. I’m too busy getting a bowl of cereal for the kids or going to work or helping Danielle come up with a grocery list or figuring out how we’re going to save up enough to put the kids through college when all the money seems to go out every month. My hair is thinning… except for in my ears and on my shoulders where it is all of a sudden appearing. My pants are tight and Danielle and I are telling each other things like, “You can’t shop in that store anymore. They sell clothes for young people.” What is happening?
But, you know what, while today may not be the most exciting day I’ve ever had, it is the best day I’ve ever lived. The reasons for that are many. Danielle and I have been married for 12.5 years and our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. We have two healthy, smart, beautiful, and funny little kids. We have a good dog and a faithful old cat that we’ve had throughout our entire marriage. We have a loving church family. We live in a great house in a nice town. I have a vocation that allows me to live a life of great meaning. Danielle is finding her calling in helping kids learn to read as a teacher’s aide at Cherry Hill Primary School. I haven’t ridden any mechanical bulls lately, but life is good; it’s really good.
I am finding the truth that is in those famous words of scripture from Ecclesiastes 3. For some reason we wait until somebody dies to read these verses:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
9 What gain have the workers from their toil? 10I have seen the business that God has given to everyone to be busy with. 11He has made everything suitable for its time.
Life ebbs and flows. Not everyday is happy. Not everyday is exciting. There are valleys and peaks. This is life. If you're looking for a high everyday then you'll either be disappointed or you'll resort to drugs to fake it. The key to life is not having good days every day or staying young or acting like you’re young even when you’re not. The key to life is having a relationship with God that is so strong that it permeates every day of your life—the days when you’re twenty-one and riding a mechanical bull and the days when you’re about to turn thirty-five and you can’t think of anything better to do than to shave off your beard that you’ve had for six years. God is with us, each and every one of us. We don’t have to understand how this works to know it is true. Even the greatest theologians of all time don’t really know how this works. They just like to speculate about how it works, but they don’t really know any more than the rest of us. Somehow through the Holy Spirit, God in Jesus Christ is with you today—this day!—and no matter what happens today—good or bad, tragic or joyful, mundane or exciting—God is with you, God loves you, and God wants to use you to share this message with others.
I haven’t ridden any mechanical bulls lately. But that’s okay. When my kids jump on my back, I am the mechanical bull now. Because of Jesus Christ, I get to live each day with God, with my family, with my church family, and with my friends. I have joy! My prayer is that you know the joy that comes through a relationship with God and with the family of faith. If you do not know that joy, then I invite you to send me an email at emiller@fpcwcho.org or come to worship here with First Presbyterian Church at 10:15 am on Sunday and I will be more than happy to share that joy with you. I'll be the guy without the beard, the one who looks like he just might have been a cowboy in the past. Okay, that's wishful thinking. I'll be the guy without the beard, the one with thinning hair and the growing belly, the one with the smile on his face.
Have a blessed week!
