Lesson #1: My Life is so Charmed that People Can Live Off of What I’m Willing to Throw AwayA couple of weeks ago a man I had helped before to get some roach killer for his apartment, which apparently didn’t end up making much of a dent in the roach population, came to the church and asked to see me. He needed financial help. $200 to be exact. When that happens, and it happens frequently, I’m really in a bind because (1) I do not have access to any of the funds of the church to help folks in need and (2) I cannot and should not be expected to help all of these folks out of my family’s pocket. So I listen to their story, tell them how sorry I am that they’re going through this, give them all the information I have regarding assistance resources in Fayette County, and then I say, “I do not have access to any of the funds of this church. This church is very generous and has chosen to make food ministries our niche. We host and manage the county food pantry, distribute produce, and hold a free meal every Wednesday. We give to fight cancer and for disaster assistance around the world.
That’s where our money goes.” Sometimes they understand, but occasionally they will say something to the effect of, “I’m glad you do all that, but if I can’t get money to pay my rent then my kids and I are going to be homeless in a week.” All I can say then is, “I’m sorry. I wish there was more I could do.” It really wears on me to have to hear folks’ stories and to have to look people in the eyes and say that to them again and again. Here’s what was different about this guy, though, as compared to the majority of folks who come into my office to ask for assistance: he wanted to work to earn it. I prayed for a way that I might be able to help him.
I racked my brain for what he might do or who might hire him for a quick job or two. I couldn’t think of anyone. One thing that came to mind was that Danielle and I would like the siding cleaned on the front porch as it is very dirty. I took the man over to look at it and told him it wasn’t $200 worth of work but, hey, it was work. Then I remembered that the duplex at 222-224 North Hinde was due to be demolished. It didn’t make any sense to clean our siding right before it gets covered with dirt from the demolition. As I was telling him about the demolition he asked if there was anything in there he could pull out for scrap since it was just going to go to the dump anyway.
The trustees had originally talked about doing that themselves but, let’s be honest, that’s a ton of work, especially for people who have other fulltime jobs and, truthfully, don’t have a whole lot of incentive to do it. So I contacted the appropriate people and asked about the possibility. All the while this man went home and prayed it would come through. Permission was given as it was really all going to end up in the dump. I called the man and within an hour he was in my office again.
This guy wasn’t a bum; he wasn’t lazy. Through a combination of very bad luck and very bad choices he’d either found himself or dug himself into a hole. But when he got started on that house I could tell that he knew what he was doing. He didn’t have a vehicle so he included a friend that did. They didn’t have all the tools they needed so they included another friend that did. Over the next four days they worked 12 hour days and ended up ripping out and cashing in about $900 worth of iron, copper, and aluminum. They split it in thirds, each making $300. Plus, the man who had come to me initially got kitchen cabinets, four ceiling fans, and a porch swing for his house. All of that came from what we were willing to just throw in the dump. After four days of getting to know each other, in a moment of frankness, the man told me, “I can live off what you people throw away everyday.” Isn’t that the truth. We throw away better stuff everyday in this country than most people in the world will ever even see, and better than a lot of people in Fayette County will ever own.
Lesson #2: Junkiness is in the Eye of the Beholder
“When is that ugly old building finally going to come down?” I have asked again and again. “I can’t wait for that big eyesore to be gone,” Danielle and I have said over and over. We’ve kept the blinds closed on the west side of the manse pretty much since we moved in six months ago so we wouldn’t have to look at the dilapidated side of the duplex. When I expressed my distaste for the building to the man who was going to salvage metals from it he disagreed with me, thinking it looked just fine. That’s a difference in perspective to be sure. But the real lesson was yet to come.The night before he began tearing into the duplex, the man came to my door with two of his neighbors, young women that I recognized from the food pantry. “They don’t have a dad,” he said. “So I’m teaching them how to survive. Can I just show them what on that house can be salvaged so they know how to recognize different metals?" I must admit that I prayed that I wasn’t aiding the training of future copper thieves. “Sure,” I said. After all, maybe they’ll have an opportunity to use those skills legally one of these days. I guess the Calvinist doctrine of total depravity hasn’t totally sunk in on me as I still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes even naively. Anyway, I walked around with them for just a few minutes as I was kind of interested in that evening’s lesson myself. The two young women kept looking through window after window. “They condemned this building?” they asked. “I’m pretty sure they did,” I responded. “You’re tearing this place down?” I nodded. “What are you going to put here?” one of them asked. “Probably just a lawn,” I said. Then came my lesson in perspective. I heard one of them say to the other as they gazed through the window, “This is so much nicer than where we live.”
What was to me a dilapidated eyesore that I refused to even look at and can’t wait to have gone was to them an improvement over where they live each and every day.
Lesson #3: It Takes a Lot More Time and Effort to Build Something than It Does to Tear It Down
When the crews had just begun tearing the duplex down from the backyard I went outside to watch for a little while. When I did, I noticed a man and a little boy sitting in their pick up in the middle of the alley watching the duplex come down. I went up to the window and invited them to park and come sit in the manse backyard to watch the show with Wyatt and me, then to stay if they like after I would have to return to work after my lunch hour. When I got up to head back to the church the man spoke up. “You know what I think about when I watch buildings come down?” I was all ears. “I can just picture all the men it took to build that house, how they took pride in their work, how it took months to build it, and how it has stood for over a hundred years. I think about that as it takes them a couple of hours to tear it down.” He didn’t go any further with his observation and I’m glad he didn’t. I’d been enjoying watching the old building come down and now all I could think about was how disappointing it would be for someone to watch a building come down that they had built. As I walked off, the man’s lesson became clear: it takes a lot more time and effort to build something than it does to tear it down.
I remember when I visited New Orleans a year or two after Hurricane Katrina. I stood with a group of Presbyterian Disaster Assistance volunteers in the midst of the infamous 9th Ward. As far as I could see all that I could make out within the waist high weeds were the foundations of hundreds of houses, houses that had taken years to build, a neighborhood that had taken decades to build up and had stood for more than a century, that had been wiped out in almost an instant by the water from the breached levy. All that was let were just the foundations, no houses.
It takes a lot more time and effort to build something than it does to tear it down. That is as true with faith, friendships, marriages, a family, self-esteem, and a career as it is with a building. It takes a lifetime to build up our faith in the Lord. Often we allow one tragic event in our lives to tear it down. It takes years to build a deep friendship. But how many friendships have been torn down by one unkind action or word? Marriages and families take hard work every day for years to be built up strong, but all it takes is one moment of betrayal to demolish it. It can take us a long time to build up our confidence and self-esteem, but so often one unkind person brings it crashing down. And what about a career? How often do we hear in the news about an elected official, a pastor, or a CEO, who loses the career they’d worked toward since they graduated from college all by making one bad choice? It takes a lot more time and effort to build something than it does to tear it down.
Lesson #4: The Same Pile of Rubble Looks Differently Depending on Which House's Windows You're Looking Through
"Look at all that light that we're finally getting on the west side of the house!" we said yesterday. "Now we don't have to look at that terrible old wall anymore... We're going to have such a big yard!" We are very excited. But I would imagine that our neighbors on the corner aren't nearly as excited about it. Firstly, their beautiful white picket fence got torn up and several perennials that they've been babying for five years may have been completely destroyed. Also, now their patio where they entertain friends and family has much less shade and is a little more exposed to the street, to passing foot traffic, and to our new backyard as well as our upstairs windows. From living in a "fish bowl" backyard with chain link fence on the alley by the back entrance to the church we know what it is like not to feel like you have privacy in your own backyard. So my guess is that the pile of rubble, which now includes part of their fence and some of their beautiful flowers, looks quite a bit different from their upstairs window than it does from ours.
Conclusion:
I’m sure I could have come up with Bible verses to sprinkle through here to make it more churchy, and if I was writing a sermon I would have, but most of the time we learn our lessons in life from what is happening around us and then our knowledge of God’s Word goes to work on translating those lessons into that which can bring us closer to God and closer to one another. So whenever you drive by Hinde Street and see the empty spot where the duplex used to stand remember that while we may be glad it is gone, that empty spot has lessons to teach about perspective. For many of us our lives are so charmed that there are a lot of people who could live off what we’re willing to throw away. Also remember that what you consider to be utter junk may be nicer than the best that others have. Next, remember that it takes a lot longer to build something than it does to tear it down. And finally, remember that things look differently depending on which window you're looking through. Now that I think about it, here's a good Bible verse for this occasion:
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... a time to build and a time to tear down." from Ecclesiastes 3
Have a great week and whatever you do, in word or deed, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ giving thanks to God through him, even if what you're doing is demolishing an old duplex.
By the way, I'm very glad it's gone.
Peace,
Everett
